Tuesday, February 01, 2005

The Razzies are In!

Happy 25th Anniversary to the Golden Raspberry (Razzie) Awards, which "celebrate" the worst of the year in film:

I was relieved that unlike 2003, I didn't see any of the films nominated (other than Fahrenheit 9/11, for which George W. Bush, Condoleeza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld, and Britney Spears all were nominated for Worst Actor/Actress awards, and Bush was nominated for two Worst Couple awards--with Rice and/or His Pet Goat).

The previous year I was foolish enough to see Razzie nominee Daredevil on opening night without reading the reviews first. I found myself editing it inside my head as I was watching it, then wishing I could edit myself right out of the theatre.

I realized later that the two moving moments during the film took place while Evanescence songs were playing. Later that year I bought their debut CD Fallen. If the gods of music had held a conference just to create the perfect band for Jeri, Evanescence was it. If Fallen had come out fifteen years earlier I probably would have had it microchipped into my cerebral cortex on perpetual Repeat, but I'm not that sad little girl anymore.

Anyway, listening to the CD helped me erase movie images of a bad Ben Affleck and unfortunate Jennifer Garner kissing in the rain and plotting to ditch J. Lo before the wedding.

I was confused and concerned about the integrity of the Razzies, however, when I saw that Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 was nominated for several awards--Picture, Supporting Actor (Jon Voight), Director, and Screenplay. In a just and rational universe, the mere mention of a sequel to the movie I can scarcely think about without wishing Thomas Edison had never been born would have resulted in not only an immediate bestowing of a Razzie, but the very annihilation of the award itself in the soul-ripping yet soothing knowledge that comes when an addict (in this case, Hollywood, and the drug is crap) hits bottom and can only go up from here.

I'm with Mr. Cranky on this one: "If there's a Baby Geniuses 3, I'm burning Hollywood to the ground."

P.S.: Mr. Cranky has one of the best riffs so far (Warning: Mature Language) on the SpongeBob "controversy" that I only wish I had room in my blood pressure safe zone to address here on my blog. Maybe someday. Soon.


This Side of Salvation

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“A smart, well-rounded, and unpredictable tale...bringing to light issues of belief versus free will, spirit versus body, and family versus self.” —Booklist, **Starred Review**


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Jeri Smith-Ready

Jeri Smith-Ready is a Maryland author of books for teens and adults.

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