Monday, August 01, 2005

World's Worst Writing "Honored"

The Edward George Bulwer-Lytton Contest has announced its 2005 winners. This annual contest, named for the guy people have dubbed the worst published writer in the English language, challenges participants to pen the most atrocious, overwritten first line of a book.

The 2005 winner, Daniel McKay of Fargo, ND, afflicted the world with this:
As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the Dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.
Scroll down the Contest's home page for other fun stuff, including bad examples of published writing, bad sex writing, and a link to a quiz: "Dickens or Bulwer-Lytton?" Betcha you flunk it, too.

Think I'll try my hand at next year's contest. Would it hurt my reputation if I won?


The best one I've ever heard -- and I think it was Allen or Chris A. who came up with it, though it's been a running joke with us ever since, was:

"It is the year 3000, and necrophelia is the law."

Posted by: Blogger Rob S. at 8/02/2005 11:43 AM

Rob, that would kick the ass out of the other finalists. They'd be assless.

Posted by: Blogger Jeri at 8/02/2005 11:02 PM

Oh, those poor assless chaps.

Posted by: Blogger Rob S. at 8/03/2005 2:55 AM

Rob, I freakin' entered that line in the contest years ago and I heard nothing!

Posted by: Blogger PapaGoose at 8/03/2005 3:56 PM

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