Jeri Smith-Ready

The most $%@!# time of the year

What's in the boooooox?
--Brad Pitt, Se7en

It just arrived, delivered to my doorstep because it wouldn't fit in our mailbox down the lane. The postal carrier gave a malicious grin, as if she knew. Those government types, all the same. Her jackboots clinked on the walkway as she returned to her truck.

But how could she know? Usually a box from amazon.com holds a plethora of delights--books, CDs, DVDs--whoopee, that's entertainment!

Not today. Today the box holds:

the new version of TurboTax

If you live in the Northeast, that moaning sound wafting along on the south wind is me discovering how much we owe this year. Chris and I are both self-employed, which means, in this nation that professes to love the entrepreneur, we get to pay twice the payroll taxes.

At least in '05 we were smart and paid estimated federal taxes for the first three quarters. But it's never enough--after all, someone's got to pay for Alaskan bridges to nowhere.

So what's in the box? Insolvency, that's what. But it's better than the severed head of Gwyneth Paltrow*.

UPDATE, 2 PM: I was wrong! Not only were its contents better than the severed head of Gwyneth Paltrow, they were better than TurboTax:

• High Fidelity by Nick Hornby, which I talked about in the comments here
• Goddess of the Rose, by the lovely and talented PC Cast
• Meat Puppets II by the Meat Puppets (duh)

Now I can listen to the Pups while doing my taxes, just as soon as that other box arrives.

*If you've never seen the final scene of Se7en performed by stuffed animals, watch it now.

Labels: writing life

• posted by Jeri @ 1:05 PM
• 7 comments