Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Last night I realized I have about two and a half weeks before I want to have the first draft of The Reawakened finished. So I figured I should probably list the scenes I have and the scenes I have left to write (as much as I can).
I have just reached the 100K-word-mark on The Reawakened, and I'm not even halfway finished the story.
It gets better.
I'm not even sure what the second half of the story entails, except three events at the very end and a lot of vague guerrilla war stuff before that. (I am counting on Mao Tse-tung to drag my ass out of the fire on that one.)
I don't worry that the book will be too long, because I know that at least 30% of those words are crap, just filler, some ambling conversations that consist of the characters taking my place to think out loud about the plot. Many of the words are just parenthetical musings about the worldbuilding or plot that I decided to count anyway, because I wanted to always be pushing forward, forward.
I don't regret using this method for this novel. In writing The Reawakened in such a haphazard fashion, I've stumbled upon many surprises and discoveries about the world and characters and plot. If I'd done a scene-by-scene outline ahead of time I never would have had so many serendipities.
But it's a mess. A magnificently ambitious mess that may someday turn into a halfway decent novel, but not yet. Not even close.
I just read a post over at Kate Elliott's blog about writerly insecurities that made me feel better, though. It's nice to know that so many authors I admire have the same fears and inner monologue/dialogue as I do. Right now I love every single one of them, even those I'm not sure who they are because it's LiveJournal and everyone has these cute but cryptic usernames that totally disguise their identities.
So I'm not crazy--and more importantly, I'm NOT ALONE.
If any writers are reading this, how do you deal with these moments of panic/insecurity? If it involves a one-way ticket to Fiji, can I come with you?
A-Z Update: momentarily suspended due to the demise of Natalie T. Steppenwolf's motherboard.