Wanting to sprinkle a little verisimilitude into Shane's speech, I consulted Da Pittsburghese Translator.
Just for yuks, I threw one of Shane's diatribes into the translator. Here's how it reads in normal English. (For context, he's arguing against our heroine's marketing gimmick, "WVMP, the Lifeblood of Rock 'n' Roll," in which the radio station aims for higher ratings by "pretending" the disc jockeys are vampires.)
But I’m not human. None of us are. If we spend too much time out in public, someone’ll figure out the real truth. Next thing you know, late one night we’ll find ourselves delayed on the way home. Then it’s ‘Good Day Sunshine,’ and they’ll be sweeping us into a dustpan.
And here's how a proper Pittsburgher would say it:
But I’m not human. None of us are n'at. If we spend too much time aht in public, someone’s bound to figger aht da rill truth n'at. Next ting jano, late one night we’ll find ourselves delayed on da way home n'at. Then it’s ‘Good Day Sunshine,’ annay’ll be sweeping us into a dustpan.
Hee. Don't worry, I'm never having him say 'n'at'. Writers have to be
I recently got very annoyed with a book in which one of the main characters was supposed to be Scottish. Every once in awhile, he would call the main character 'lass,' and I'd be jerked out of the story, because 99.9% of the time he sounded nothing like a Scot. I tried reading his lines in my head with a Scottish accent, and it didn't work, because the sentence rhythm was pure Midwest American.
So back to Shane. As a DJ, he would have modified his native dialect as much as possible, so I went easy on the Pittsburghese. The only things I changed were to have him use 'anymore' to mean 'these days,' and call someone a 'jagoff' instead of a 'dickweed.' In both cases the meanings are obvious from context, so the reader doesn't hit a mental speed bump.
Oh, and the Steelers are the "Stillers," because that's like a religion.
Best Baltimore accent by an actor: hands down, Danny DeVito in Tin Men.
A-Z Update: "Look to Your Orb for the Warning" by Monster Magnet