Thursday, February 07, 2008

Caution: contains words

(In which you begin to lament the fact that I found the USB cable to my camera)

The other night I was fixing a box of frozen Birds Eye Green Beans with Almonds (which are delicious, by the way).

Note that Birds Eye Green Beans with Almonds is called "Birds Eye Green Beans with Almonds." If you're astute or, say, awake, you might infer that Birds Eye Green Beans with Almonds contains...well, yes, green beans, but what else?

I opened the box of Birds Eye Green Beans with Almonds, dumped the green beans into a microwave-proof container and pulled out the bag of....what, again?


Yes! Birds Eye was careful to give us ONE. FINAL. WARNING. that Birds Eye Green Beans with Almonds does, in fact, contain almonds.

Inspired by their paternalism, I decided to post similar labels on ambiguous objects in my house, such as this faucet:




And this creature:


And finally, realizing how much I might offend those with deadly nut allergies, I had to include a picture of myself, just as ONE. FINAL. WARNING:

Labels:

6 Comments:

Oh that is just too funny. Thanks for the laugh Jeri. I needed it. I'm going to the (gasp) dentist today.:-)

Posted by: Blogger Kathy at 2/07/2008 9:42 PM

LOL. That's awesome.

I think you're taking a risk, though, in not warning that the contents of the faucet might be hot.

Posted by: Blogger Andrew at 2/07/2008 10:25 PM

V. clever, it reminds me of airport security when they search you for knives and then let you take bottles on board...no imagination!
Anyway I am stoked I finally found a copy of eyes of crow! Quite a feat here in OZ. Anyway I am so looking forward to reading it. Love your blog Jeri! all the best Jem

Posted by: Anonymous Anonymous at 2/08/2008 3:55 AM

*LAUGHS* Contains AWESOME!

Posted by: Blogger Catie at 2/08/2008 6:28 PM

That's GREAT. I laughed out loud on that one.

Posted by: Anonymous Jess at 2/09/2008 11:33 AM

LOL!! Just think. They spent how much money in ink to put that warning label on...? Oh crap! I forgot what they are. Cashews, right?

Posted by: Blogger Marcia Colette at 2/09/2008 10:12 PM

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Jeri Smith-Ready

Jeri Smith-Ready is a Maryland author of adult and teen urban fantasy.

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