Jeri Smith-Ready

Caution: contains words

(In which you begin to lament the fact that I found the USB cable to my camera)

The other night I was fixing a box of frozen Birds Eye Green Beans with Almonds (which are delicious, by the way).

Note that Birds Eye Green Beans with Almonds is called "Birds Eye Green Beans with Almonds." If you're astute or, say, awake, you might infer that Birds Eye Green Beans with Almonds contains...well, yes, green beans, but what else?

I opened the box of Birds Eye Green Beans with Almonds, dumped the green beans into a microwave-proof container and pulled out the bag of....what, again?


Yes! Birds Eye was careful to give us ONE. FINAL. WARNING. that Birds Eye Green Beans with Almonds does, in fact, contain almonds.

Inspired by their paternalism, I decided to post similar labels on ambiguous objects in my house, such as this faucet:




And this creature:


And finally, realizing how much I might offend those with deadly nut allergies, I had to include a picture of myself, just as ONE. FINAL. WARNING:

Labels: food

• posted by Jeri @ 8:53 PM
• 6 comments