Fresh on the heels of last night's earth-shaking news, an unidentified director has been hired to helm the production of a royal biopic on the just-married Prince William and Catherine Middleton (now the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge).
A spec script was leaked this morning. The project has been pitched as Mr. & Mrs. Smith meets The Queen.
Setting--Buckingham Palace. Royal couple are packing their bags.
Will: Darling, I'm so looking forward to leaving for our honeymoon tonight.
Kate: Right. Er, something's come up. I have to nip off to Pakistan for a few hours. (Turns away, checks pistol inserted into garter belt.) Just a small errand, really.
Will: How interesting. So do I. (opens case a few inches, tucks rifle deeper between a pair of swim trunks)
Kate: Odd, that. Perhaps we'll run into each other.
Will: Perhaps. Well, I suppose I'll see you on the beach, say, Wednesday?
Kate: Brilliant. (zips shut makeup bag, hiding grenade) Love you!
Will: Love you. Bye!
They kiss briefly, prompting an uproarious cheer from the 10,000-strong crowd still gathered outside the Palace, then take their baggage and leave by separate doors.